Time they say heal wounds but Christ is the true healer. One day I was praying for healing in my body and the Holy Spirit directed me to pray with a particular scripture; “He bared my grief, he carried my sorrow” Isaiah 53:4.
To have a deeper understanding of what I was praying, I quickly checked the dictionary meaning of grief. Grief means a lot of things, but some of its meanings that stood out for me are sorrow, misery, sadness, anguish, pain, distress, agony, torment, affliction, suffering, heartache, heartbreak, broken-heartedness, heaviness of heart, woe, desolation, despondency, dejection, despair, angst, mortification; mourning, mournfulness, bereavement, lamentation, lament; remorse, regret.
I realized the prompt from the Holy Spirit, so I prayed. The more I prayed, the more freedom and healing I received in my body. Though I wanted healing for my body, the root cause of my pain was deeply embedded in my mind, and God was reaching out to me for total healing. Christ already carried my sorrow and bare my grief. I no longer needed to carry the heavy burden, the grief, the pains of the past, painful regrets and the occasional sorrow in my heart. For my healing to be complete inside out, I had to release my pains to Christ and let go of painful regrets.
Many years after my heartbreak, I would often travel back in time and remember the heartache. I would often wish that I had not made that mistake in my life. Little did I know that each time I remembered the grief I carried, it registered in my memory, and it released unpleasant toxins in my body, making me ill. It turned out that though I had forgiven this person and moved on in life, I still carried the pain, the grief and the heartache of the past in my heart.
The more I prayed, God opened my eyes to see what Jesus had done for me on the cross instead of what I had suffered in the hands of his creation. Though I was praying for healing in my body, God wanted to heal me inside out. Christ wanted me to reach out for complete healing and total restoration.
Most people have done something that caused them painful regrets. Some people have suffered some form of disgrace or shame that caused them to lose faith in themselves and in people. Some people have haunted memories of the past, which may be blocking their healing. Some people still suffer from such condemnation that they just cannot bear to look at themselves in the mirror. Some people have allowed errors of their way to chase them into oblivion where they should have been shining lights. The Bible says that you no longer need to hang on to those painful memories.
Jesus said, come unto me all you are weary and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. You can receive your rest from past mistakes, you can receive a total freedom from painful memories. You can receive a complete healing from griefs and sorrows of the heart. All you need to do is to release all to Jesus and accept that which he already did for you. When regrets, shame, and disgrace are not dealt with properly, they lead to terrible decision-making, which can jeopardize the future.
Judas Iscariot suffered such painful regret after his betrayal of Jesus. He was the treasurer of the group (John 12:6). Though he dined and wined with Jesus, the state of his heart was greedy. (Matthew 26:23-25).  He knew more about Jesus than the outsiders. He even knew so much about Jesus that he was willing to point him out to the chief priests (Mathew 26:14-15, 47-49). The state of his mind pushed him to commit such an atrocity that pushed him to betray an innocent blood (Mathew 27:3-5). When he realized the error he had made, he tried to rectify it. He was gripped with so much remorse that he returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders, saying, ‘I have sinned by betraying innocent blood’. After the deed was done, he went on and hung himself. The state of his heart, with its painful regret, sent him to an early grave.
“The state of your mind always prepares you for life’s trials”. Agu Irukwu. The state of Judas Iscariot’s mind did not prepare him for the aftermath effect of his action, rather it destroyed him. You can prepare your mind to develop you and make you stronger for life’s many trials. When God reached out to my state of mind, I had to let go in order to receive my healing. I realized that Jesus had a really good experience of being rejected for my sake, I no longer need to go through painful memories.
You are in Christ now, there is no longer any condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). You do not have to make any decision you might later regret due to a heartache. You do not have to wallow in those terrible or horrible memories either. You do not have to drown yourself in self-pity. You can bounce back from your past by keeping a check on the state of your mind and by giving up those issues to Jesus.
Why not forgive that person? Most importantly, forgive yourself. You need to search within, let go and let God.
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